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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25621672">what we were dreaming of</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gureisu/pseuds/gureisu'>gureisu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2001), Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, Fluff, Kyoto Arc, Marriage, Nostalgia, Post-Canon, Romance, School Trip, Season 2 Episode 17, Spoilers, im soft for them just enjoying life together, kyo and tohru as grownups</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:06:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,620</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25621672</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gureisu/pseuds/gureisu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Looking at Kyo, Tohru saw her husband—adoring, kind, reserved, gentle Kyo. But suddenly, in that moment, she saw another man, too—a boy, really, her old Kyo-kun, scared and angry and lonely and longing. He was there, too.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Years later, Kyo and Tohru visit Kyoto for the second time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Honda Tohru/Sohma Kyou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>101</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>what we were dreaming of</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>After this week's episode of the anime, I couldn't NOT write this.</p>
<p>Spoilers for season 2 episode 17 of the anime, or chapters 76-77 of the manga. Also generally spoilers for the end of the manga—this takes place 4-5 years after it's all over.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Outside the shinkansen window, images slid by in blurry succession, too fast for Tohru to get a good look at any of them: a row of apartments, then a lone house surrounded by trees, then a big forest, then a pond surrounded by little cottages, then—</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Tohru had to close her eyes because the whole thing made her feel a little dizzy. It wasn’t too surprising—she’d been feeling dizzy for months. It was frustrating, though. She wanted to drink it all in.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Hey. You okay?” She felt a cool hand on her forehead: a large, calloused palm, with slender fingers. She smiled a little and pulled the hand down into her lap, keeping her eyes closed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “I’m fine!—I should’ve known better than to look out the window, honestly. It’s just like on the bus back home, but worse.” She laughed, still feeling a little queasy. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Here.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> She blinked her eyes open; there was a water bottle in her face.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Do you want these too?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Along with the water bottle, a tin of ginger candies wiggled in front of her. She giggled in spite of herself.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Tohru turned to the water-bottle-offering, candy-wiggling, never-not-worried man beside her. Her husband was curled into the seat, one long leg tucked up next to him. The morning light coming through the train window was incredibly flattering; his orange hair fell messily over his sparkling eyes. She shook her head. Even after all these years of living together, sometimes she saw caught a glimpse of him at certain angle or in a certain light and was taken by surprise, just like the day she’d seen him for the first time. Who was she, to be spending every day with the most handsome man in the universe?</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “I’m okay, Kyo,” she said, giving him a genuine smile. “I already feel better.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “If you feel bad at all today, just tell me, okay? I don’t want you to push yourself,” he said, eyeing her suspiciously. But he leaned back in his seat and offered her an arm; happily, she snuggled into his chest, feeling the soft fabric of his t-shirt against her cheek.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “I will,” she said. “But you worry too much.” She let her eyes flutter closed; she had time for a little nap.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Tohru woke up to the cool, strange feeling of Kyo’s tongue poking the tip of her nose.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Huh?” She sat up abruptly as Kyo tried to hold back a laugh.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Morning, sleepyhead,” he said. “We’re almost there.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Did you—did you wake me up by licking my nose?” Tohru blearily rubbed her eyes and checked the screen at the front of the train. They were almost there.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “No,” said Kyo. “I poked it with my tongue. It woke you up, didn’t it?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> He swung nimbly from the seat and grabbed their bags from the compartment as the train started to slow. He threw both of their bags over one shoulder and reached for her with his other hand. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Ready?” he asked.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Tohru nodded and took his hand, carefully following him down the aisle of the train. She could see the glimmering beams of Kyoto Station through the train windows.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “We’re back,” she whispered under her breath.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Kyo led the way off the train and through the busy station, making a beeline for the exit; her husband had never lost his distaste for lingering in crowds.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “So,” he said casually, weaving his way toward the subway entrance, “are you going to tell me now why you wanted to come here so bad?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Tohru smiled to herself. “You’ll know when you know,” she said, mustering her very best air of mystery.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Kyo laughed and picked up his pace. He had learned a long time ago to let her keep her secrets when she wanted to—she always told him in the end.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> It was true that Tohru had been the one to insist on this particular vacation. It wasn’t often that they were able to line up their days off from work, but as it was Golden Week, most of Kyo’s younger students at the dojo were leaving town, so Tohru had requested a few days off that same week. They hadn’t taken a proper trip together since getting married—they were both creatures of habit who easily fell into a routine of hard work and domesticity, and they were saving money, anyway. The little trips they took into Tokyo to see friends and family didn’t count—Tohru looked forward to them, and they always brought her joy, but they weren’t a vacation just for the two of them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> This trip was just that. Kyo had suggested it, since he knew it would be a long time since they’d be able to travel again—given the circumstances. Tohru had known right away where she wanted to go, but it had never been easy for her to ask for things. Even with the man she trusted more than anyone else in the world, she felt anxious when she had <em>wants</em>, when she had <em>requests</em>. As long as she could remember, she’d been that way.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> After a few weeks of hint-dropping, Kyo figured it out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Kyoto?” he’d said. “Are you sure? I’m not against it, but we could probably afford to go somewhere a little farther away. Somewhere new.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “If it’s okay with you, I’d really like to go to Kyoto,” she’d replied. She hadn’t told him why.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> After a short subway ride and a slightly longer walk (“Are you sure you don’t want to rest? It’s so hot out. Are you hot? Do you need water?”), they arrived at the inn they’d picked out. It was a modest but welcoming Western-style place, with a cozy lobby and a friendly proprietor. They checked in, got their key, and walked up one flight of stairs to their little room.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “It’s beautiful!” Tohru crooned, doing a little spin all around its perimeter.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “You think everything’s beautiful,” said Kyo sardonically. But his eyes were warm. Tohru knew, because he’d told her, that this was one of the first things he’d loved about her.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “I do not!” cried Tohru. “This is a really, really charming, sweet, perfect room!” She danced to him, twirling the long, soft curtains behind her. “I love it.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Kyo, always neat, was already putting their things in drawers.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Do you want to rest for awhile before we go out?” he asked, carefully placing their folded clothes in the dresser. “Do you still feel bad?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Not at all!” sang Tohru. Kyo gave her <em>the look</em>. She paused.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Putting herself first was another thing, like <em>wanting</em>, that gave Tohru a bad feeling in her gut. But recently, it was something she was working on—because it wasn’t just about her, anymore. It meant something different now. So she gave it some real thought, perching on the edge of the bed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “I think I am okay,” she said, more seriously this time. “And there’s somewhere I really want to go.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> As always, Kyo could tell when she was being honest, and he grinned, easily pulling her up from the bed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Lead the way,” he said.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> It was mid-afternoon by the time they reached the quiet little street. Tohru found the Kyoto bus system impossibly confusing, and she also kept getting distracted by little things she liked, like the outdoor restaurants all along the Kamo River, and the matcha shops with cute pictures of animals painted on the windows, and the tiny shrines that seemed to appear out of nowhere.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Eventually, they turned onto a narrow street, lined on one side by small, picturesque houses, and on the other by shops selling traditional goods.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Where are we, exactly?” asked Kyo. The whole way there, he’d listened to Tohru’s happy chatter about their surroundings, the things she wanted to do later, the sounds and smells that delighted her. Now he walked ahead, looking back and forth as if he expected to see a sign explaining the significance of this totally inconsequential street.<br/>Tohru laughed nervously. Now that they’d actually made it, she felt a little worried.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> It had taken a fair bit of research to figure out where the spot actually was—she’d looked through old photos, but hadn’t seen any particularly notable landmarks; she’d called Uo-chan and Hana-chan, who couldn’t remember much of anything (Hana-chan miraculously remembered all the different foods she’d eaten on that long-ago school trip without remembering a single restaurant, store, or street name); and finally she’d called Yuki. Yuki, not known for having the most precise memory about anything, surprised her: he remembered entire conversations she’d forgotten, he’d remembered some oddly specific details about foliage and, most importantly, he remembered some names of streets and shops. Enough names to piece together her memories and find what she was looking for.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Wait,” Yuki had said, after they’d already said goodbye. “Why do you want to go back there, anyway?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “There’s something precious there,” she’d said. Somehow, he’d seemed to understand.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Now, a little hesitantly, Tohru followed her husband down the street. What if this wasn’t it? What if everything had changed? What if that little corner in her memory didn’t even ever exist at all?</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> She picked up her pace, holding up a hand to block the sun as she squinted at the end of the street. In just a minute, she would know. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> She turned a corner.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> And there it was.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> She stood under the archway that framed the end of the street and saw a perfect memory preserved in front of her: the little red bridge, the colorful bushes, the shrine. The season was wrong, and the colors were different, but it was the same.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Kyo, over here!” She waved him over and he came to stand beside her, surveying the spot.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “This is…cute?” he said. Puzzled.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> He didn’t remember. Of course he didn’t.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Tohru took his hand and led him onto the bridge. Obediently, he let her lead him, let her gently push him down so he was perched on the railing. He watched her with quiet eyes as she tiptoed back, tilting her head to the side, piecing the picture back together.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> It wasn’t quite—</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> There was no cat, for one. There never were, anymore. They stayed away from him, in fact, as if they knew who he was, knew he’d left them behind. And it wasn’t just that: <em>he</em> was different, too. His shoulders were broader, his arms more muscular. He wore a regular t-shirt, not a school uniform—of course, she thought, how silly. We’re adults now. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> And, of course, there was no bracelet of Juzu beads on his wrist.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> But then Kyo looked down, and there was a touch of the old wistfulness in his expression, just a hint of the childhood fears she knew still lingered under the surface. And it was then that she saw it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Kyo-kun,” she whispered.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> His head shot up, breaking the spell, eyes big—surprised by the old formality.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “What did you just say?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Kyo-kun was right here, when…” she murmured.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Her eyes started to swim with tears.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Looking at Kyo, Tohru saw her husband—adoring, kind, reserved, gentle Kyo. But suddenly, in that moment, she saw another man, too—a boy, really, her old Kyo-kun, scared and angry and lonely and longing. He was there, too.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Come here, please,” she said, holding a hand out to him. Something like realization dawning in his eyes, he walked to her, slowly, carefully, like the memory might break apart if he let it. Oh so slowly, he took her hand, wrapping it in his larger one.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “What’s up?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> And then she saw him remember.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Tohru…”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> He came to her, trancelike, gently, as if uncertain if he wanted to open the gates of memory. He took both her shoulders in his hands and pulled her to him, holding her to his chest. Like the first time, she thought. Like he’s afraid it might all have been a dream.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> They paused, frozen in an embrace, frozen in time. Nothing happened. Of course it didn’t.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> And, pressed against his warm chest, Tohru started to cry.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Hey,” murmured Kyo, burying his fingers in her hair. “Hey.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “I—I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I wanted to come here so badly that I didn’t think about your feelings, and I know that not all these memories are happy, and I know that they’re so much more difficult for you than for me, and I didn’t mean to—to—”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Kyo drew in a sharp breath, pulling away to look down into her face.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “It’s true that sometimes I remember things that I wish I didn’t have to,” he admitted, his voice soft. “Some of my memories from the first few years we knew each other are like that. But Tohru—” He tilted her face up, and he spoke very clearly. “Every single memory with you is precious to me. Every one.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> And he kissed her once, innocently, sweetly. The way he never could when they were younger. The way—she now knew, though all these things had been a mystery back then—she’d wanted him to that day.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Hours passed. Kyo and Tohru sat together on the railing of the bridge, his arm around her shoulders. For the first time in a while, they talked about the past.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “So,” he said, his eyes on the sky, his hand rubbing warmth into her bare arm, “Why here?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Tohru looked up, surprised. “Oh! You didn’t know? I fell in love with you that day.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Kyo paused. Then, abruptly, he laughed. “Wait. Really?! I loved you way, way before that. You didn’t love me till then?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Oh! Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—um—I d-didn’t mean to—”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Kyo was still laughing. “I’m not mad, silly. But—not that it matters after all this time, but—that was really it?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Tohru couldn’t help but laugh too.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “I think I loved you a long time before that, really,” she said. “I think I loved you almost as soon as I met you. But there were so many things I was scared of, back then. I don’t think I realized just how much I belonged to you until that day.” She blushed. Years together, a home, a marriage—and talking about these things, about how passionately she’d yearned for him when they still lived together in Shigure’s house, was still a little shameful.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Kyo knelt in front of her, warm orange eyes lit up by the spectacular sunset that was beginning behind him. He placed both hands on her waist.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “And why now?” he said, his eyes playful.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Now—” Tohru blushed again. “Well, in six months we won’t get to be alone together anymore, for a long time. So in that way, I was selfish. I wanted to get to live in this moment together again, just the two of us.” She paused. “But it’s not just that. It’s like I wanted—I wanted Kyo-kun from all those years ago to feel us here, I guess, to get a little peek at what’s going to happen. And I wanted—I want—”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Gingerly, she took his right hand in hers and moved it so it rested on her belly, on the tiny bump there, just big enough for the two of them to notice, still too small for the rest of the world to see.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “I want our child to know that they’re coming into a world that’s full of love.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Kyo beamed, hand still resting on her belly, and dusted a soft kiss on her forehead. Then he stood and offered her his hand, and they walked together, across the bridge, through the arch, back into their lives.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> His eyes twinkled.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Wanna kill some time together?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A note on translation (re: the last line of the fic): in the anime, Kyo's line is translated as "Wanna hang out?" But what he actually says is "時間を潰すか？一緒に" (Jikan wo tsubusu ka? Isshou ni) which is more like "Want to kill some time together?" I think the manga translates it something like that too, and I think that's better and more specific...so I went with that.</p>
<p>(I'm not a native speaker, so please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about any of this!)</p>
<p>Title comes from Somebody Loved by the Weepies.</p>
<p>Thanks for reading! I really hope you enjoyed.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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